Happy Birthday

Well today was my birthday and it was horrible. Sometimes I dont know why I even wake up. I guess it all started with the sun in my eyes first thing in the morning. I like sunshine but not when I wake up and its in my eyes. It makes me angry for some reason. So I wake up angry and I go all day being angry. I alternate between crying and hiding in my bed. Lately everything has been bothering me. Sometimes I think if I didn't have kids I would not be around anymore. I really hate just about everything right now and wish I could just go away. I am tired of not having any money because I cant find a job because I cant afford afterschool care because Nick gets out at 1pm. I would probably make just enough to pay daycare so what's the point. I guess I just figured out my problem. MONEY, and I dont think my meds are working. Oh well I guess i'll get over it eventually. Someone told me to look to the future for happiness, I said what future, the way this government is screwing hard working people that pay their bills there wont be any future. Ok thats all today, I feel a little better.

Lies and the I Dont Knows

Up until recently I had a daughter that was really sweet and would do things for you. Now she cant remember to finish her work in class of to even bring it home to finish. She has begun lying to us about it. We had a conferance with her teachers and she pretty much said that they were all lying to get her into trouble. Just this morning she supposedly took a shower for 3 minutes. She was walking around the kitchen with a towel on her head to cover "wet hair" I pulled the towell off and her hair was bone dry. As i was taking the towell off she said, I dont know how my hair got so dry that fast. UUUUUHM you didnt wash it. So that's another lie. Oh and she knows it all too. If I could go back to my teen years and change things I would. I would change to fact that I never listened to anyone about anything. I would be a much better balanced, well educated individul now. I guess you learn from your mistakes, but how many people have died getting there. Im fed up I dont know what to do. We are getting her to see a Dr. soon maybe that will help.